Call of Duty: Black Ops II has reached over 7.5 million homes since it launched and is already one of the most successful video games of all time, shattering release records at nearly every turn. Naturally, with sales figures like that, plenty of kids and new comers who want to try a piece of the action will be available for slim pickins.
Treyarch wants you to set aside your primal instinct to massacre these fledglings and give them a chance to enjoy the game before you totally turn them off forever. Nobody likes to lose at a video game, and countless deaths piling up one on top of another will lead to many of the newly initiated into a quick return to GameStop.
Looking to prevent this exodus, Treyarch has released a humorous plea to the Call of Duty gaming community, asking them nicely to please consider an alternative.
“Let’s talk Christmas Noobs. It’s that time of the year again where thousands of new players join the online ranks for the first time. We’d ask you to go easy on the Christmas Noobs, but we know you won’t…”
Of course, this is most likely falling on deaf ears, so Treyarch also has a few words of encouragement for the soon to be weepers.
“If you are a Christmas Noob yourself, don’t be bullied. In the Combat Training category you’ll find a great playlist called Boot Camp. This is the best place for a player to get up to speed on the game and all it has to offer.”
It’s hard to tell if Treayarch is being serious with this post or not. Naturally, the Call of Duty veterans want to hear nothing about taking it easy, trial by fire being the socially accepted learning method of the game’s diehards. However, they do need to say something to keep from alienating a huge market of scared and shivering rookies who can’t handle the actual stress of a virtual battlefield.
Just do whatever your heart tells you, folks. I won’t judge you either way.
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