Of all the movies that are not worth setting up on a pedestal with a steelbook case, Super Mario Bros. is getting one. Great… the everlasting joy of that awkward drive home from the movie theater when my mother asked me what I thought is now forever enshrined in a beautiful box that speaks nothing of the horrible shlock within.

This Super Mario Bros – Zavvi Exclusive Limited Edition Steelbook Blu-ray contains the same extras that came on the original Blu-ray release, including the 60 minute ‘This Ain’t No Video Game’ making of documentary.

But still, that Bob-omb on the back. Don’t you want that for your entertainment shelf? I’d rather got watch The Spirit Within again.

The Blu-ray sells for $20.79, and you can pre-order it through Zavvi for a release on Feb. 13.

Haven’t seen it since I was in elementary school

Maybe it is time to give this a rewatch. No, I won’t be dropping $20 on a movie I think will be just as raunchy as the last time I saw it, but there’s got to be cheaper ways of seeing it out there.

That summer, my local movie theater way out in Green River, Wyoming showed a line-up of what it called “the best family movies ever made.” In addition to being scarred by the terrifying interpretations of the Goombas and the gloom of Dinosaur City, my young mind was also traumatized by the likes of Dark Crystal and The Neverending Story.

It’s all coming back to me. That King Koopa tongue, the Rock Biter being torn to shreds, tiny headed weirdos dancing in an elevator, “I AM STILL EMPEROR!”

Artax, no!

This steelbook is loaded with lies and trauma, and it should be buried in the desert!