Fellow parents! Let this serve as a PSA. Do not play the minigame in 1-2 Switch called “Baby.” You will regret it. You will lose days of your life. You will suffer heart conditions. You will be thrown into early parenting flashbacks.
Baby is the scariest game Nintendo’s ever made. Don’t believe me? Watch the video.
I know this sounds like a joke. It’s not. I’m a father of two, my oldest is five and my youngest is a year old. My kids are awesome. They’re a lot of fun. And I loved having them around as babies, obviously. But one of the hardest things about being a parent? Dealing with kids and sleep. It gets better as they get older, but for those first few months and into the first year, babies are tough.
I remember one night my wife and I were set to have a small date. We had some wine, some steak, we were ready to cook. This was with my first kid, Connor, and we weren’t quite as versed when it came to parenting. He was maybe eight months old. Anyway, it came time for bed, we gave Connor his bottle and he fell asleep as he finished eating. So, my wife handed him to me, and I brought him upstairs.
I still remember that moment. I could hear my wife starting to cook downstairs. I heard the steak hit the hot pan. I started lowering my baby into the crib. It was that total Indiana Jones taking the treasure off of the pedestal moment, but I slowly lowered Connor trying not to disturb him. I thought I did a really good job.
Until I started down the stairs.
He screamed like a madman, and I had to go up and hold him. He was way too young for us to let him cry it out, at least in our view as parents, so I had to be a dad and walk around with my kid in my arms until he fell asleep. That took an hour. My steak? Cold.
So, maybe this Baby game isn’t a horror game. Maybe this is the game that I’ll make my kids play. This will be a game for revenge. When the Nintendo Switch comes out, I’ll get 1-2 Switch. I’m going to make Connor play this game. Having a laugh as he sets the sleeping baby down only to have it wake up and scream in his face.