Horribly Gaudy "Swarovski for Samsung" Collection Introduced

If you’re ok with your phone looking like it was bedazzled by a rich housewife, Samsung has the perfect device. The Korean company on Thursday made its “Crystal Collection” official, unveiling what just might be one of the most offensively bad partnerships we’ve ever seen.

Samsung is desperately trying to convince us some sparkly rocks will somehow make its devices more luxurious. But we know they’ll still be the same  products we reviewed last month. The entire “Swarovski” collection seemingly exists for those who lack taste. A Gear Fit Swarovski charm? Is Samsung even trying?

I’m both appalled and amused this is even a thing. Samsung argues that its new crystal-encrusted collection is aimed at the fashion conscious. But pretty much anything else would be an improvement over using a crystal-encrusted cover or Gear Fit charm. To be fair, the Galaxy S5 design isn’t that bad to begin with; certainly not extraordinary, but this brings it to an entire new level of terrible. Look: I can understand why this exists, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

“With technology and fashion so deeply intertwined, Samsung is more dedicated than ever to supporting self-expression through technological innovation and meaningful partnerships,” said Younghee Lee, Executive Vice President of Global Marketing at Samsung. “Collaborating with Swarovski on this stunning collection of device accessories reflects our commitment to providing people with user-experiences that express their distinct personalities and tastes.”

Samsung goes on to call this a “distinctive union of Swarovski craftsmanship and Samsung technological expertise.” How much more pretentious can one get? Yuck, you don’t have a crystal-enrusted S5? Like, so lame. Chalk it up to cultural differences, but plastering shiny rocks onto a piece of plastic doesn’t suddenly make something “highly desirable.” I’m clearly not the target audience.

The Swarovski for Samsung collection is available now through the Samsung store in Korea, with pre-sales up for China, too. Online availability will extend to the U.K. market soon, while wider availability will roll out to retail Samsung stores on May 22.