I’ve been playing the Gears of War 4 multiplayer beta as much as I can. Despite all that time spent, I’m still just terrible at the game. So instead of try to pretend I’m good at Gears of War, I’m just going to own it. I put together a couple minutes of footage of my dark, bloody end as it went down over and over again.

The beta is, so far, classic Gears of War. There are a few modes. I’ve spent the most time with the primary team deathmatch mode and the cooperative mode that pits you and up to four other players against a team of bots running at Hardcore difficulty. The bots, as you’d expect, are significantly easier to deal with, though they still managed to get a few shots on me, including using the new mantling mechanics that let you vault over cover and directly into your opponent’s face, giving you a chance to take them down while they’re stunned. I’ve heard it’s a satisfying way to take down an enemy, but I’ve only been on the wrong side of the knife.

Enjoy my deaths and, if you see me on, feel free to join the growing ranks of people who have put me out of my misery for a few seconds.

Gears of War 4 hits Xbox One exclusively on October 11, 2016.

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