Man, I knew that Final Fantasy Type-0’s cast was just a conglomeration of anime stereotypes and pop-idol fashion, but it never quite hit me until I laid eyes on this latest batch of screenshots from the incoming PlayStation 4 and Xbox One game.

This first character alone is enough to seal the deal on how not-so-seriously we are supposed to take the cast in this ultra-serious war story. This girl with the bobbing hair, I think her name is Cinque, looks as if she was pulled straight from the ranks of AKB48, from her facial expressions, attitude, all the way to her clothing, and was told to charge into battle with a steel mace that probably weighs more than five of her.

I’ve had to suspend my disbelief for Final Fantasy millions of times in the past, but casting Japanese morning show talents is something that the series has never asked me to deal with.

The rest are more believable at least and fall into the realm of typical Final Fantasy characters. Their actions in battle also have that same quality to them as well. The best from this gallery is a girl walking around the battle field playing a flute and acting totally clueless to the murderous robot just feet from her. I hope she notices that her two friends are about to be slaughtered while she plays her dream recital.

Again, this is a game which clearly needs the context of a story that only a full motion trailer can deliver. Just like Final Fantasy XV‘s weird clash of punk boy-bands and science fantasy, I’m having a hard time picturing teenagers as war heroes.

The final few shots show off exclusive content to the HD version, including another scene with the leader Ace crying and covered in blood. What is so dramatic about blood in video games?

Final Fantasy Type-0 HD will be released for the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 on March 17. It will come with a downloadable demo of Final Fantasy XV.

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