Mike Perlman's rants have been delightful. Really. I feel like I'm standing across the street from a man as he sits on his front porch in a rocking chair, whittles wood and mumbles loudly to himself about those darn kids and his darn lawn. It's cute, in an awkwardly ancient sort of way, and I do enjoy the rants as they come up.
Until he wrote about video games.
According to Mike, video game controllers these days have too many buttons.
I've been listening to my dad complain about the exact same thing for years. The difference? He's my dad. I love him a ton, but he scratches his head every time I reply to a text message.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Mike Perlman: Grandpa of TechnoBuffalo.com.
Controllers are too complicated because of the amount of buttons they have? Mike, try and tell me that while you're proofreading your next article centered around the merits and disadvantages of Digital SLR photography in low-lighting settings. You write for a tech blog, my man! You can't be complaining about the presence of shoulder buttons.
They're buttons, Mike! NOT KEYS. My god.
Maybe the shear fact of the matter is that I basically had an aneurism while reading Mike's rant about the complicated nature of gaming. Maybe it was when he specifically called out the NHL series for its overcomplication.
I mean, he's wrong on that front for sure. The Skill Stick in NHL is dead simple. My wife never plays video games. Ever. I showed her how to play NHL 11 in a matter of minutes. She was skating up at the point and ripping shots on net immediately. Why? Because the game is downright simple.
But no, that's not what got me going.
It's when Mike implied that games today are soulless.
Many of today's games are devoid of the magic and splendor that flourished within the enchanting world of NES cartridges, and I feel as though the gaming industry will never see that again.
My reponse: you're playing the wrong games.
Katamari Damacy is not soulless (in fact, it actually translates to clump of souls). Red Dead Redemption is not soulless. Nor are Mass Effect, Super Mario Galaxy, No More Heroes, Portal, Heavy Rain, Minecraft, Mario Kart, Zelda, L.A. Noire, Bulletstorm or Catherine.
All of these games are relatively recent. And, guess what, they're all packed with spirit. Real love went into making these games, and they give off a feeling of fullness and care. It may sound ridiculous, but beating a game like Red Dead Redemption feels a little like losing a good friend.
Mike, I hardly know you yet and I consider you my virtual brother. We're herd brethren, my friend. And when you slather love all up on the 8 and 16 bit eras, I'm right there with you…slathering.
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But when you start slamming the current age because of your fundamental lack of hand-eye coordination, my nerd rage bubbles over.
Come to Delaware. Play games with me. Let's chew the proverbial cud.
Keep writing your rants, Mike. I'll keep reading…and also disagreeing.