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Thor: Ragnarok—All the secrets from the amazing teaser

by Brandon Russell | April 10, 2017

Finally, the first teaser trailer for Thor: Ragnarok—or RagnaROCK, am I right?—was released, and things aren’t looking good for the God of Thunder. His hammer, Mjolnir, was destroyed, and his beautiful long locks are chopped off.

After seeing the footage, one thing’s certain: Director Taika Waititi (Hunt for the Wilderpeople) is adding some much-need levity to the world of Thor. Not that the humor and lighter tone should come as a surprise. If you saw Waititi’s hilarious Team Thor shorts, you’d know that he has a keen eye for comedy.

Thor: Ragnarok feels unlike any Thor movie that’s come before it. There’s still plenty of brooding imagery, and Hela (Cate Blanchett) looks absolutely terrifying. But, as a whole, Ragnarok seems like it listened to one of Peter Quill’s Awesome Mixtapes.

While we can talk about tone all day, what is actually going on in the teaser footage? Who is Jeff Goldblum playing? And is Loki finally going to admit he’s kind of a jerk?

It’s pretty clear the footage is mostly comprised of the early parts of Ragnarok. But it helps setup what’s to come, like the supposed cosmic road trip with Thor and Hulk.

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When the teaser begins, Thor finds himself in a precarious situation, chained up on a mysterious hellish landscape, surrounded by demon-looking statues. How he got there and where he is is unclear. But things ain’t looking good.

A voiceover from Thor asks, “How did this happen?” Well, Hela happened. After being eternally imprisoned, she’s apparently set free by Loki, who was disguised as Odin at the end of Thor: The Dark World. So, pretty much Loki is the worst. (Though, he does look awesome in the new teaser footage.)

Fun fact: In the comics, Loki is Hela’s dad. So, like, is that the angle they’re going with here? It seems like it would be too shoe-horned in and out of nowhere, but when her costume pretty much mirrors his, you can’t help but draw a parallel. We’ll give this one a big ole shrug emoji.

Assuming Loki is her dad (or related in some way), I’m sure he’d be a very proud father seeing her destroy Thor’s hammer. This scene appears to take place on Earth, though it’s difficult to tell. We know most of the movie will take place in space, but the cut suggests they’re in a New York alleyway.

Not good. Not good at all.

The destruction of Mjolnir is significant because, in the first movie, Odin said this: “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.”

We saw what Thor was like without Mjolnir when he was on Earth. How could he possibly stand a chance against Hulk, let alone Hela, without that power? The answer you’re looking for is: he can’t.

Once Mjolnir is destroyed, we get another look at Hela, who is in a more menacing getup, complete with some kind of horned helmet. It’s magnificent and beautiful and completely over-the-top.

Hela says, “Asgard is dead,” followed by plenty of citywide destruction. Without Odin around to stop her, and a more vindictive Loki, the Ragnarok part of the movie’s title looks like it’ll play out.

 

We see Thor fall onto a planet called Sakaar, which doesn’t look like the friendliest of places. There’s junk everywhere, and upon landing on the planet, Thor is immediately captured in some kind of old school net. Boy, without Mjolnir, Thor seems kind of pathetic.

The next shot sees Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) dragging Thor to the Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum). Why? So he can fight as a gladiator for the Grandmaster’s amusement. That’s just the kind of guy he is.

A few quick cuts show what may be a flashback of Valkyrie confronting Hela. No doubt, that history will play a part in Valkyrie eventually helping Thor out. But, how did she get onto Sakaar in the first place? And why would she serve someone like the Grandmaster?

Out of all the things that have happened to Thor, getting his beautiful hair chopped off may be the worst. He looks pretty grumpy being put in that chair. I guess barbershops are a little different in outer space.

We get our first good look at Jeff Goldblum’s Grandmaster, who looks like he stepped out of an 80s sci-fi movie. Everything with Jeff Goldblum is immediately made better, so we’re glad he’s here for the party, even if he is an evil douche.

Oh, hey, Heimdall (Idris Elba) is still alive, and his long locks are looking pretty good.

An unknown spaceship is seen racing toward a portal. A guy is seen duel-wielding machine guns. Wait, what? Loki casually flips throwing knives. Yes, this truly down feel like a completely different Thor movie.

By the way, that dude duel-wielding the machine guns is known as Skurge (Karl Urban), who is often portrayed as a foe of Thor’s. Based on what’s in the teaser, Thor already has enough on his plate, and now he has to deal with that guy? Or, maybe, he actually helps Thor in some way.

We’re back on Asgaard, with Hela gracefully jumping into action. Then, it’s main event time.

Thor (with his new haircut) is seen preparing for a fight against “Innnncreeeddibllllle Hulk,” much to his delight.

“Yes!” Thor shouts. “We know each other. He’s a friend from work.” This is hilarious for a few different reasons. One) that Thor would shout that to the Grandmaster and two) That he refers to his time with the Avengers as “work.”

Hulk, probably fixed with an obedience disk, doesn’t seem too pleased to see his “friend.” The money shot of the two characters coming together could be the moment Thor destroys said disk, which would be bad news for the Grandmaster. Also, notice how Loki is excitedly watching on as some kind of guest of honor.

Fin.

Happy Thor is best Thor

Waititi’s Ragnarok looks like it’s going to provide us with the perfect balance of action, humor, and mythology—basically Thor’s versions of Guardians of the Galaxy, which we’re absolutely not opposed to. Considering how dark and drab people perceive DC’s movies to be, these colorful, funny, and wild takes from Marvel are just what the doctor ordered.

Apparently, once Thor and Hulk battle on Sakaar, the two of them will embark on a cosmic road trip, which we don’t actually see any footage from. Also, we don’t get to see Bruce Banner—or Doctor Strange, for that matter.

There are still plenty of question left to be answered. How did Hulk get into space? Where is Odin? What’s Loki’s big plan? Will Thor be the same without Mjolnir?

Thor: Ragnarok hits theaters on November 3.

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Brandon Russell

Brandon Russell enjoys writing about technology and entertainment. When he's not watching Back to the Future, you can find him on a hike or watching...Brandon Russell enjoys writing about technology and entertainment. When he's not watching Back to the Future, you can find him on a hike or watching...


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