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Call of Duty: Black Ops III live-action launch trailer arrives

While I sink some quality hours into Tomba! 2 later this week, no doubt the rest of the gaming world will be up to its eyeballs in Call of Duty: Black Ops III. The latest entry in the popular franchise releases this week, and it now has a launch trailer that comes stereotypically jammed with references to attract as many commercial demographics as possible.

We have Seattle Seahawks star running-back Marshawn Lynch for the sports fans, Johnny Storm for the Marvel fans who want to forget about that movie, a Rolling Stones song for the aging baby boomers, a slick female action hero, and the chubby bozo who is supposed to be you, a Call of Duty: Black Ops III professional extraordinaire.

What was it for again? I like Marshawn Lynch, and I love Skittles. I didn’t see Fantastic Four, and I don’t cheer for the Chicago Bulls. I like the Rolling Stones. I put a lot of effort into losing my tubby gut over the past year, and I stopped wearing cargo shorts. Kevin has got the moves like Jagger, and I still want to play Tomba! 2 because pink-haired cavemen rule.

What was being sold here? I can’t remember. My brain can’t comprehend it all. Oh yeah, Call of Duty: Black Ops III will be released for the PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360, Xbox One, and PC this Friday Nov. 6.

Ron Duwell

Ron has been living it up in Japan for the last decade, and he has no intention of leaving this technical wonderland any time soon. When he's not...

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