There are no active ads.

Advertisement

Master Chief’s death is a cover-up, official Halo 5 story is a lie!

by Ron Duwell | October 5, 2015October 5, 2015 10:40 am PDT

Last week, the world witnessed the death of our hero and savior, Master Chief… again. And once again, it is just an official story to cover up the truth. Master Chief’s never ending battle still rages on. People of Earth, when will you learn?!

The latest TV ad for Halo 5 spoils the Master Chief’s death in that it actually hasn’t happened. Apparently, Master Chief has gone rogue, and the UNSC wants him dead. The announcement of his death is merely a cover up, and his bosses have hired Spartan Locke to track him down and exterminate him. This is the true story…

Or is it? Why has our hero Master Chief gone rogue? Has he really gone rogue? Is there corruption in the UNSC that Master Chief is fighting against or is this one big misunderstanding? Who or what can we believe? Does anybody have a drop of Mountain Dew Gamer Fuel left?!

In all seriousness, who doesn’t see from a mile away Master Chief and Spartan Locke joining forces after an awkward stand-off? I can see it now. Neither character can express emotions with their face, so two burly mechanical suits are yelling at each other to stand down, John Woo style, guns drawn. Spartan Locke suddenly realizes that he has been had since Master Chief has no reason to really turn his back on the human race. The two return together to fight the real enemies in this conflict.

I mean, throughout the UNSC’s entire spiel in this commercial, we are given the same hyperbole you would expect from a presidential candidate: A whole lot of colorful language, not a lot of specifics. What exactly is Master Chief doing that is so wrong? Setting “these things” loose? Yeah, I believe that, buddy.

We’ll find out when Halo 5: Guardians launches for the Xbox One on Oct. 27. Honestly, this is a far better advertising push that Halo 4 got, so maybe we’re bound for a better game.

Ron Duwell

Ron has been living it up in Japan for the last decade, and he has no intention of leaving this technical wonderland any time soon. When he's not...

Advertisement

Advertisement

Advertisement