Next generation controllers and traditional PC peripherals might be your preferred method of playing games. But you haven’t really gamed—or lived a fulfilling life—until you’ve used a tongue mouse and butt controller. Valve engineer Ben Krasnow has created both because he can; these are merely proofs of concept meant to show off a little oddball ingenuity. Let’s be honest, how precise can your butt as a controller be? Exactly. Try playing a game like Portal with either of these methods and you’ll likely never find out whether or not the cake is a lie.
Krasnow explains the What, Why and How in two separate YouTube videos, revealing that the tongue mouse was essentially MacGyvered by combining a retainer and infrared mouse; basically your tongue is the cursor. Now your friends will never want to come over and play games with you. The butt controller was made possible by mashing together a bathroom scale and Xbox 360 controller. It’s like the best core workout you didn’t know you were doing.
Valve’s real controller is actually much more practical, though a little different from more traditional designs. The two ideas demonstrated by Krasnow won’t be something you’ll see on the shelf anytime soon, or ever, but it’s fun to see how familiar methods can be altered and played with. You can’t progress without thinking in new ways, right? Right. At least with the tongue controller, it would probably silence a lot of annoying online gamers because they’d be too busy trying to actually control their character. Suddenly I want the mouse controller to exist.