The iPhone 5c is here, and for a lot of consumers the rumored low-cost smartphone isn’t quite as cheap as we were hoping it would be. Apple’s new handset comes with a $99 price tag with a two-year contract or $549 unlocked, but what would an iPhone that was actually cheap look like? Funny or Die (the site that brought us iSteve) imagines what the promotional video for such a device might look like, and the results are predictably hilarious.
The iPhone 5F costs $24.99 and features a boxy metallic design, a tiny square-shaped black and white display, a handful of clunky looking buttons, and a big ugly antenna sticking out of the top. As for what the theoretical iPhone can do, the answer is not much. You can play Snake, but if the snake gets too long the phone crashes. Presumably you can make calls, though there’s no keypad, and that’s about it. There’s also a scaled-back digital assistant called Ciris whose answer to every question is “No Idea.”
The best part of the parody is the way it perfectly copies Apple’s iconic sales pitch. If Cupertino really did come out with a handset this pathetic, it would still find a way to sell it as revolutionary and amazing, even if the only way to charge the battery was with shock-prone exposed wires. For $25 this is probably the best any manufacturer could do without suffering a loss on each unit sold, but honestly there’s no reason Apple can’t come out with a $300 iPhone if it wants to.