One thing that unites tech journos despite our varying fanboy allegiances is the grind of dealing with press releases. Relating with PR folk is our bread and butter – they’re the ones who can grant or deny us access to product launches, hands-on demos, and pre-release product loaners. Many of the PR folk I’ve dealt with in the consumer electronics game are awesome. Some, not so much. Occassionally a press release will go out that’s so blatantly terrible that it turns into a mini-meme for us nerd bloggers to giggle about over Twitter or the next time we all meet up for a dessert-themed OS release.
This past Tuesday a press release hit the wire that was seemingly designed to entertain folks like me while promoting the bejeezus out of the dude who wrote it. If you ask me, it worked, and so Mr. Mitch Delaplane of Chicago, I give you your fifteen minutes of fame, Buffalo-style. Ladies and gents, the most amazing press release ever written:
The Most Amazing Press Release Ever Written
PR Professional Distributes Groundbreaking Press Release
CHICAGO, Jan. 11, 2011 /PRNewswire/ — Mitch Delaplane of PitchPoint Public Relations has issued the most amazing press release ever written. While hundreds of press releases are distributed daily, Delaplane feels this particular release will go down in history as the most amazing press release that has ever been written.
“I’ve been in the business for over ten years and have to say, I’m speechless,” claims Delaplane. “The title alone grabs you and demands that it be read. Then there’s this quote that completely takes things to an entirely new level. I’m proud of this press release. In fact, I think it is [really] amazing.”
Typically reserved for company news announcements and other public relations communications, the press release has long been the favored default for informing media about exciting, groundbreaking news. Then this news release comes along and changes everything people thought they knew about press releases.
“I’m quoting myself again because the first quote didn’t do it justice,” says Delaplane. “If you’re still reading this news release, then you know what I’m talking about when I say it’s something special. In fact, it’s 483 words of pure awesomeness. When it crosses the wires, I believe history will have been made.”
The science behind this Earth-shattering news release lies in its simplicity – no science, just pure old press release craftsmanship. It started with an incredible brainstorming session that asked a very simple question: “what makes a press release amazing?” Elaborate notes from that brainstorm were then formulated into mesmerizing sentences, paragraphs and pages…all expertly designed to make you pause and reflect at the brilliance of this press release.
Every single word of this news release was track changed, stetted, then track changed again to its original draft. Upon final approval, it was spell checked, fact checked and printed for posterity. The result is a two-page, 1.5-spaced news release that is like no other news release in existence.
According to PitchPoint Public Relations you have just read the most amazing press release ever written. If you agree, tell Mitch at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow him on Twitter at Lifeisamitch.
If you disagree, issue your own press release and prepare for war.
+1, Mitch. And another +0.5 for your clever twitter handle.