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Stopping Porn Is The Reason For iPhone 4 Reception Issues

by Sean P. Aune | June 29, 2010June 29, 2010 12:23 pm PDT

Being a professional blogger has one major drawback to it: press releases.  I couldn’t tell you when my inbox last read “0” because I am flooded with press release after press release every day.  A lot of them are so blatant that they are a desperate cry for backlinks and getting a person or company’s name out there that you just throw them in a folder and forget them.  However, every one in a while one comes along that is so shockingly brilliant that you have to play along just to applaud its creativity.

pink visual logoI am going to try to convey the information of this press release from Pink Visual as nicely as I can because, well, it deals with some “adult activities”, and this is an all ages blog.

The basic premise is that since it is said you get worse phone reception with the iPhone 4 in your left hand, that you should hold it in your right hand to use it.  Well, the problem is that about 85 percent of the world is right handed, so if you want to keep your right hand … um, “free” for other “activities”, then you need to hold the phone in your left hand while doing so.

From the release, with one minor edit for language:

“Apple did their homework on this one,” said Dave Long, a disgruntled 37 year-old mobile porn user. “Over 85% of the world is right handed and watches mobile porn with their phone in their left hand. Now when my mom is out at the grocery store and I get a hankering to check out a little wireless erotica, I have to set the phone on a surface or switch hands and go all [slang for an adult activity] on myself. I think maybe Steve Jobs is serious about wanting the iPhone to be ‘porn-free,’ after all.”

Kim Kysar, Brand and Product Manager for the company went on to say, “We’re all about providing solutions to our customers’ problems.” Kysar added, “Whether this was an intentional measure crafted to make mobile porn harder to watch on the device, or merely an unintended consequence of the new design, it’s an obstacle to our customers, and Pink Visual’s role has always been to help our members over-come.”

Folks … I couldn’t make this up if I tried.  Yes, Steve Jobs’ crusade to give you “freedom from porn” is the whole reason the iPhone 4 is having reception problems.  It was so simple that I am shocked that none of us figured it out before PinkVisual did.

Now, imagine your inbox filled with attempts to get publicity like this every single day …

What say you?  Was this all a slick and well crafted plan by Apple to keep the iPhone free of porn?


Sean P. Aune

Sean P. Aune has been a professional technology blogger since July 2007, but his love of tech dates back to at least 1976 when his parents bought...

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