We love Thanksgiving, and many of us will be sitting down to a table full of turkey, stuffing, and everything else. Over decades of gaming experience, we’ve digitally eaten more than our share of food, and when we invite our favorite video game characters over, we know they’ll be able to help us put together a good meal. Here’s what I want to eat:
You’ve been to Skyrim. You’ve visited Winterhold and Whiterun, and all the guards talk about these things. Constantly. “Did someone steal your sweetroll?” they ask, their tone taunting. These things must be incredible if they’re constantly being stolen. I thought about hoarding them to create a shortage so I could start a Sweetrolls racketeering scheme, but then I realized Skyrim doesn’t have a dynamic economy.
It’s the drink so good it lasts through the end of the world. That is, if someone doesn’t drink it first. Sure, you could go for some of the mead or other myriad alcoholic drinks scattered around our favorite RPGs, but few drinks are as iconic as the Fallout series’ Nuka-Cola. Just make sure you have some RadAway in the cupboard.
Lots of animal rightists and vegetarians object to eating anything with a face. I wonder how they’d feel about the turnips in Super Mario 2? One thing I do know, however, is that these things are huge. One of them could feed my entire family.
S’jirra’s Jumbo Potatoes
My favorite mission in Oblivion, by far, was the quest to find S’jirra’s Jumbo Potatoes. Sure, she has funny hair. Sure, it’s funny when she pounces on you real suddenly and asks in her raspy voice, “CAN YOU FIND MY JUMBO POTATOES?” But really, jumbo potatoes just sound really good.
Castlevania Wall Turkey
And of course, you can’t have thanksgiving without a turkey. What better than Simon Belmont’s special Wall Turkey recipe? Don’t worry that he finds it literally hidden inside a wall, he’s eaten more of them than you could count and he knows they fill up all the way up to full.
I might not get to eat any of these this year, but rest assured, I’ll have my wall turkey someday. Special thanks to Gourmet Gaming for some of the inspiration and a couple illustrations.