R.I.P. In-Dash CD PlayerThe end is near for the in-dash CD player, my friends, and Chief Designer of Ford Interiors Michael Arbaugh is tickled by the prospect. He recently said that in-dash CD players can account for up to five pounds of additional weight and occupy valuable real estate. Apparently, interior designers are not too keen on CD players, so they will most likely be going the way of the 8-track and Cassette player. So, to honor the in-dash CD player, I’ve written an elegy.

Alas, that fateful time has come
To bid farewell to such a friend

Who brought us jams and beats and rhymes

Whilst speeding down I-95

 

The Spin Doctors and Tears for Fears

The Darkness, Beck and Beastie Boys

Michael Jackson and Green Day

Have gathered here for you today

 

To honor you and your Bass Boost,

Your buttons, knobs and LEDs

Your ex’llent sound and flashy looks,

That façade to deter the crooks

 

You did away with Cassette tapes,

No more rewinding, thank the lord

You brought our Aiwas to the dash

And tracks we’d skip within a flash

 

You let us burn our greatest hits

And play them with the windows down

There was no doubt in this whole world

We were the coolest kids in town

 

But now designers say you’re stout

And that you clutter up that dash

It’s sadly just a drop of time

Until you’re forced to Walk the Line

 

For no one under 30 cares

They’ve got their MP3s and phones

Unlimited libraries vast,

You’ll soon be a thing of the past

 

You’ll join the 8-track and Cassette

In automotive history

Craigslist is your place to stay

Your CDs will live on eBay

 

But then one day you shall be saved

By a hipster with a Civic

Who plays annoying Emo pop

While doing 30 down the block

 

So until then I want to say

CD Player, I’ll miss you so!

I’ll honor thou from day to day

You made the hot girls look my way

 

THE END

[Via: Detroit Free Press]