51 Things the New iPad Still Doesn't Have

As we all bask in the glow of a shiny new “resolutionary” screen, we do have to take a moment and realize the new iPad is still missing some things.

The folks over at BuzzFeed compiled a list of things that the new iPad is missing that will make them switch to Android.

  1. Flash
  2. A soul
  3. Friends
  4. Lovers
  5. Hair
  6. Fingernails
  7. A favorite shirt
  8. HDMI Support
  9. A house
  10. A physical keyboard
  11. A steady job
  12. A bigass sword
  13. A car (or a driver’s license)
  14. A child
  15. Windows 7
  16. A fat old dog
  17. A sly but loyal cat
  18. Even a goldfish
  19. Consciousness
  20. A sense of humor
  21. Glasses-free 3D
  22. Ontological crises
  23. A stomach
  24. Stomach problems (i.e. ulcers)
  25. A stylus
  26. Skin
  27. Cancer
  28. A bald spot
  29. A CLUE (LOL)
  30. A long-term hobby
  31. A USB port
  32. A beating heart
  33. A dimpled smile
  34. A removable battery
  35. Bushy eyebrows
  36. Essential Meaning
  37. A good, hearty laugh
  38. 2.1 Stereo Sound
  39. Feelings
  40. Regrets
  41. Guilt, about anything (even that)
  42. Linux support (kernel 2.6.2.8.5)
  43. Ethical sourcing
  44. A dope beard
  45. Just a really good hoodie
  46. A cupholder
  47. Cyanogen mod
  48. Self-esteem
  49. A black belt
  50. A yellow belt
  51. A 4096 x 3072 screen

I never thought about it before, but yeah, I kinda want to see the iPad 4 come with a dope beard.

[via BuzzFeed]